I was playing New Super Mario Bros Wii on the Nintendo Wii because I felt very nostalgic for such a classic game. I found the game at a garage sale in a free bin, an old lady said I could have it for free because her son who played it tried to shove a wii mote up his ass and died when playing it and his ghost was in it.
Odd, though I decided that was a glitch and bought the game anyways, as I drove away though the house wasn’t there and was burned down. I thought my eyes we’re playing tricks on me so I decided to ignore it.
So anyways im playing NSMBWii when on the home screen I say a tab that says “DLC”
Odd I say, “Nintendo isnt capable of managing DLC, this must be a hack” so I decide to click on it as my Wii starts screwing up over trying to make a connection to the Wii shop.
A menu pops up that saids “Hyper Realistic DLC - 666 Wii Points”
I was sad because I didnt want to buy the DLC because I was saving the Wii Points for another game, but it auto bought and downloaded it. “Wow” I thought, freaking dicks, I was going to buy something with those wii points.
So anyways, the download finished and the Wii turned off, then it turned back on and the nintendo logo started, but it was covered in blood. It mustve been a glitch from the wii crashing I decided, but when the title screen popped up I was scared.
The entire screen was covered in blood, and maria and luigi ran without heads, but their heads looked HYPER REALISTIC. Then Peach popped up on the screen but she had hyper realistic blood eyes and said “Satan 666 wanna play a game”
Wow, this is bullshit. I thought, the Wii can’t even pull off semi realistic graphics. I assumed it was a glitch so I ignored it and started the game, but as I did i heard the hyper realistic sound of flesh tearing and someone screaming. It sounded like a kid, but they suck anyways, so I ignored it.
The menu popped up and it was a hyper realistic blood map, and everything was covered in hyper realistic fire and blood. and there was dead bodies everywhere. I ignored that stuff and started world 1-1 and when I did the screen got all hyper realistic fuzz and then there was more screaming.
Mario and Luigi stood on the hyper realistic blood ground. Odd, I was the only one playing, then there was a cut scene and Luigi said “Hello issac, want to play with me” like, holy shit, how did the game know my name. This is seriously one weird glitch.
Then the Luigi got a knife and stabbed mario over and over in a hyper realistic style and mario cried hyper realistic blood. Then the screen blacked out. Then I started in world 4 where it was an ice world but it wasnt an ice world it was an hyper realistic blood world.
Mario was gone and now it was peach, she was crying, and said random stuff in reverse satan language. I started the game and peach screamed no, and I cried because she was sad so I played anyways.
She was in the ice world and the penguins we’re all dead and luigi was there and said “you cant run Issac, I will kill you” and then he ripped off peach’s hyper realistic head and drank the hyper realistic blood then the screen cut out.
Now I was in the final world at bowsers castle, and all that was left was toad, ugh I hate toad. he is such an moron, so I start the level and when I see the level bowser is dead ad all hyper realistic. When toad walked up to it then the screen cut scened and bowser was hyper realistic in gore and guts where everywhere.
I cried because I was an over emotional bitch who felt sory for glitched game characters, but as it zoomed into his hyper realistic guts the screen flashed kids who we’re getting their organs ripped out and it was so scary I barfed and stuff.
Luigi tackled toad with an axe and cut him in half,, and the screen got a loud hyper realistic pitch noise and ded. The screen turned flash and then luigi said I am god and I was scared and I had to get no pants because they we’e soiled.
I turned off the wii and threw it out the window and then set it on fire and it exploded, and when I checked the ruins the CD was intact and hyper-er realistic than ever. I looked behind me and there was a luigi plushie who was hyper realistic and he had a knife and he stabbed me and I ded.
I sent the game to my friend Devin, aong with a note abotu wat happen. If you r reading this read the first word of every paragrph and {{USERNAME}} im coming to do ur mom in the night because im god.
THEN WHO WAS BONE